Prabowo’s Red-and-White Coalition’s sticky situation Julia Suryakusuma  ;   The author of Julia’s Jihad

JAKARTA POST, 17 September 2014

                                                                                                                       

                                                      

Recently, a friend sent me a hilarious clip from Mrs. Brown’s Boys, a BBC Scotland television sitcom created by and starring Irish writer and performer Brendan O’Carroll. The titular character of Agnes Brown, a loud, foul-mouthed matriarch, is played by O’Carroll himself. “Mrs. Brown’s Sticky Situation” (youtube.com/embed/tjJc8xLYhak) starts with a shot of Agnes stumbling out of a toilet, groaning and clutching her belly. She walks into the kitchen, where her friend Winnie is sitting at the kitchen table. Agnes complains about a tummy upset caused by an explosive curry. She asks Winnie to hand her the pine air-freshener spray as she keeps passing gas, creating a nasty stench in her wake. While Agnes is on another trip to the toilet, her son Mark comes by and places a can of spray glue on the table that his mother had asked for, and leaves. When Agnes returns, she picks up the can of glue, mistakenly thinking it’s the air freshener (both cans are green). She starts spraying around — in the kitchen, the hallway, in the toilet and, for good measure, between her legs. The spray glue soon sets and Agnes’ legs are stuck together. She yells out to Winnie to help separate her legs, and hops onto the stovetop so that Winnie can pry her legs open. Winnie manages to do so, but gets her head stuck between Agnes’ legs. Then Cathy, Agnes’ daughter, walks in, only to reel back shocked, as she thinks she sees Winnie performing kinky oral sex on her mother. Total chaos and confusion reigns! I reckon Prabowo Subianto’s Red-and-White Coalition (Koalisi Merah Putih) is in a similarly sticky situation, picking up the spray glue instead of the air freshener. The air freshener option for Prabowo would have been to graciously concede defeat in the recent presidential election in a statesmanlike fashion. He could then collaborate with Joko “Jokowi” Widodo’s administration for the next five years and pave the way for another run for the palace in 2019. He would still only be 67, not that old for a president. After all, Soeharto, his former and late father-in-law, was 10 years older when he finally stepped down in 1998. Instead, Prabowo & Co. went for the spray-glue option. They now run the risk of getting their metaphoric legs stuck together and losing the support of their erstwhile followers. Prabowo’s popularity ratings dropped when he rejected the July 9 presidential election results and appealed to the Constitutional Court. He famously lost. So why does he insist on losing even more credit by pushing the regional election bill (RUU Pilkada)? If this is passed into law, regional heads will be elected by regional legislative councils (DPRDs) instead of directly by the people, as has been the case since 2005. It is a recipe for corruption, collusion and nepotism (KKN). Prabowo & Co. obviously believe in the line, “when I lose, I’m winning” from John Legend’s hit song, “All of Me”. The problem is, they got it wrong. Legend means to say that even when he loses (an argument) with his beloved, he still wins because he loves her unconditionally, with “all [her] perfect imperfections”. Prabowo, however, seems to believe that when he loses, he will eventually win by doggedly and stubbornly engaging in obstructionist, scorched-earth tactics. I reckon soon he’ll have to rename his Koalisi Merah Putih (KMP) the Koalisi Bumi Hangus (Scorched-Earth Coalition) or Koalisi Obstruksi (Obstruction Coalition) — KO for short, an appropriate enough acronym. Yes, if you’re on a winning streak, you should stick to it. But if you’re on a losing streak, then give up! It’s bound to backfire. In fact, it has already. The Gerindra Party, Prabowo’s political party, has just lost one if its biggest stars: Basuki “Ahok” Tjahaja Purnama, incoming governor of Jakarta. Not only did he very publicly reject the RUU Pilkada, he even quit the party. “Gerindra took me from the Golkar [Party],” he said, “because they promised to fight for the people’s choice […] So why are they opting now for regional elections through the DPRDs? You’ve got to be consistent!” The shoot-from-the-hip Jakarta deputy governor then added, “I will never be loyal to a party that is not true to the Constitution”. Yaaay, Ahok is my hero — and of many others too, I reckon. In fact, people are already talking about the “Ahok effect” (shades of the “Jokowi effect”)? But with people coming out in their droves — activists, civil society groups and regional heads themselves – to reject the regional elections bill, is an “Ahok effect” even necessary? And then there’s the irony of Gerindra, a party that regularly spouts pro-people platitudes but engaging in an anti-people move, giving the lie to their populist posturing. The leaders of Prabowo’s coalition claimed to represent the masses but now they say those same masses are not ready for democracy. They cite all sorts of other problems: the costs, potential for conflict, logistical problems, but really, it’s just that they don’t like the fact that direct elections mean outsiders – like Jokowi – can sometimes win. Would Prabowo & Co. have pushed for the RUU Pilkada had they won the July 9 election? No, says political observer Ari Dwipayana from Gajah Mada University, it’s just a political ploy. In the past, the parties that form the Red-and-White Coalition rejected elections through the DPRDs. Now, they are rejecting direct elections. Why? Because they lost. Sounds like an acute case of sour grapes! The truth is, it’s the elites and the oligarchs who aren’t ready for democracy. They hate and fear it. It makes them sick, just like poor old Agnes and her curry. And if they don’t watch out, they’ll soon end up looking just as ridiculous as she did. ●