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It’s hard to take a public servant
seriously when you see him waving a sausage in the air and singing “It’s
so nice”, with a motley crowd of backup singers sashaying behind him.
Yet that’s precisely how Deddy “Demiz” Mizwar recently became deputy
governor of West Java — and his awesome sausage-waving skills helped
secure winning votes for his running mate, incumbent Governor Ahmad
“Aher” Heryawan as well. Yes, that’s right, Aher, worried that his own
popularity would not be enough, decided to “buy” sausage-star Deddy to
shore up his reelection bid.
In fact, Deddy has a solid reputation as an award-winning actor and film
director, but that’s not what made him a familiar face nationally. Nope,
he became a star by constant appearances in TV ads for a mobile phone
network operator, bottled mineral water, motorbikes, toothpaste, heartburn
medicines and others — including, naturally, the oh-so-nice sausages.
Of course, most of these products could be linked to politics in one way
or another (especially mobile phones and heartburn!) but sausages are the
closest connection. Think about it. Sausage-making is smelly and made up
of unhealthy, disgusting and even dangerous ingredients, including
preservatives and the dreaded “pink slime” (blood, fat and bits of meat
trimmings disinfected with ammonia, all colored with dye — and not always
food dye). Same with politics! It’s also too often made up of unsavory
ingredients, including, of course, ambitions, egos, greed, corruption,
manipulation and outright lies.
Ah well, perhaps Deddy’s career in advertising has prepared him well for
the horrors hidden within. Just look at the sausage ad he did for
Ramadhan in 2011 and 2012. Wearing Indonesian Muslim garb, Deddy exhorted
viewers to gobble sausages for sahur (the early morning meal before
commencing fasting), and again sausages first thing for iftar (breaking
the fast). Get real? Touting this junk-filled product as healthy? In the
fasting month to boot? Well, that’s advertising for you — and that’s
politics too.
Besides riding on the back of Deddy’s sausage-stardom, Aher’s win was
also allegedly the result of pork barrel politics (not to be confused
with the recent pork-tainted meatball scare). In January 2013 — just
before the elections! — Aher’s West Java provincial government allocated
“grants” and “social funds” of Rp 100 million (US$10,303) per village for
5,304 villages in West Java, Rp 50 million for 2,000 agricultural
extension workers, and Rp 90 million for 400 private universities. Big
buck handouts and a big banger TV star! What’s not to like? No wonder he
won.
Politicians like Aher, who are in “low-batt” mode (i.e. low popularity)
don’t usually resort to the sausage for salvation. Instead most simply go
to their political party for a “recharge”. Political parties often act as
a power-bank — you know, those portable chargers you carry around so your
smartphone doesn’t run out of power — for candidates. The trouble is that
Aher, who hails from the Prosperous Justice Party (PKS), doesn’t seem to
want to advertise the fact that he’s a PKS man too much.
You see, in recent years, his party has become pretty low-batt itself.
Initially touted as clean and free of corruption and sex scandals, it has
since had its fair share of both, and is in no position to help anyone
anymore. The most recent uproar involves Luthfi Hasan Ishaaq, former PKS
president, now embroiled in the imported beef scandal, and an alleged sex
scandal involving a 19-year-old student, (“Agriculture minister faces
further grilling over beef”, The Jakarta Post, March 15). At least the
beef makes a change from sausages.
But let’s face it, all Indonesian political parties are in serious
low-batt mode at the moment. In fact, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono’s (SBY)
Democratic Party (PD) seems to have completely short-circuited. With Anas
Urbaningrum, the former chairman, finally forced to resign after being
declared a suspect by the Corruption Eradication Commission (KPK), it
looks like not even sausages could save the party now. The way things are
going, lame-duck SBY will soon be able to hold the PD’s annual general
meeting in the bathroom, all on his lonesome.
So, who’s winning from this situation? The business cronies are, because
our low-batt politicians are increasingly desperate for campaign funds as
elections daily creep closer. This means they are also vulnerable to
cronies pressuring them for policies that will benefit their businesses.
That is maybe why recently economic policy has suddenly swung
protectionist, and with trade barriers soaring, imports have fallen.
Slowly but surely, technocrats are being marginalized and the free-trade
reforms of the last decade seem to be unraveling fast.
The Coordinating Economic Minister, Hatta Rajasa, in-law of SBY and
presidential candidate from National Mandate Party (PAN), has been
pushing protectionism. He claims it will strengthen domestic businesses,
deliver food self-sufficiency and give added value to raw materials. But,
in fact, the main results are a general increase in food prices,
including basic commodities — most notably the recent spiraling price of
onions and garlic — and now serious food shortages as well. Could it
possibly be because his policies are motivated not by economics but
political interest? In the end, the push for power is pushing policy
aside.
At least the scarcity of garlic is good news for vampires. They can roam
freely now. But what to do with the political vampires whose
blood-sucking ways don’t depend on the absence of garlic, and who operate
in broad daylight?
Perhaps we should force-feed them all smelly sausages till they burst? ●
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